There is going to be a massive overhaul of all my stuff...meaning i am to take down everything on that put it back up. Plus if i get the chance i put up some new stuff.

I hope that this new year will mark a change for me in my life.It was the fact that i did not take a active role in this last year that things for me didn't turn out so well. So i will shape my future. I will be happy or happier this new upcoming year. There will be alot of changes. I know that i keep saying these things and keep these promises but if it gets me to be a happy person...then so be it.

Even more so i will not post a god damn thing on here unless it's a art dump.

In my life, I have always felt that i was the passenger to my own car sort of speak. That the choices i made where not by my own but by the driver of said car...an auto-pilot if you will. I just want to be able to make my own decisions. So what if there is a road block in the way...go around it, or through it. i don't know...all i need now. I always second guessing my self why? Why do i do that? I don't believe in my self? Now that i am the driver...all i need is a map of the terrain at least. How do i know which turn to make? I don't like to be driven....but it almost seems that driving is way to hard.

Nothing is as 'sucky' as uncertainty.
Especially in a relationship. If I could control how i think i would. To this person i hurt in the process, was the equivalent of cutting off my own leg. Something for sure that i will regret later. That is not to say that i am over it. It's still hurting in the back of my head.
Regret that i could not take back.
My life in general is a wreck...to bring a significant other into something like that was not something that i was not able to do nor was i ready... so i did the only thing i could do ...(i.e cut off the leg) Things that were beyond my reach... I just want to be sure of things. life moves on and we are still friends like we were before. To have some time to think and get my act and things together so that i could be much more focused and helpful to the person that needs me the most. I want to be better. I am not asking you to hold your breath, i am using this time wisely to think about things. I needed soul searching and some answers for my self. I am saying however im sorry.
It is nothing that i have planned, and that the only thing that i can and will do for is be support if you want it from me. I am hopefully thinking that it should not be long. and that if we were ment to be ...you'll be the first to know with know hesitation. I have always been honest with you about how i feel so you know that i am telling the truth.

Interesting title for something that has nothing to do with what i am thinking to type about....
But none the less if it happened catch your some what divided attention then it's has done its job like i've done mine. Working at a people oriented place a General store if you will, has caused me to have a beef with people in a way no other annoying thing could. Case in point... I hate my job.... I never hated it before but the mannerisms of said company were getting to me and i have just about had it so today is the last day they will ever strip away any sanity left in me. My only regret is that i cannot take any of the other employers and bosses that have been kind to me with me. I am going to leave them there...leaving them behind. I don't like the sound of that but it is a general must for the good of my holey stomach and my ever rotting brain. Further more, This only means that i will get projects done quicker and faster. Lot of unfinished works are of need to be done so the world can see what i am up to. Hopefully the next time im on Dev-Art there will be postings of the art kind... well till next time America.